All Along ,
I kept on telling myself it's time to let go it's time for everything to stop and everybody tried to brainwash me , I heard so much negative things about you but I dint put anything to heart but am I wrong? and you were the first guy after J that I felt really comfortable with but Im rather clueless what happen that it made us fall apart and I clearly knows that Im not your anybody from the start but at least a why you ain't talking to me anymore. After you , Idk why I couldnt like anybody else it's always your mermories that flashers thru . IMY so much afterall........
I miss the days when we were closer and having fun tgt no doubt I treated you hot &cold but you did that to me too , I miss the day you waited for me in school til you’ve gastric pain + the little silly things you always used to tease me and make me smile and your smile will always cheer me up and rmb you told me this “ you say you love me you say you miss me but your heart is always not with me “ maybe you were just kidding with me by saying that but at that time I wanted to tell you my heart is with you but im just afraid that you’re just toying around with me but now if I have the chance again i'll definitely tel you my heart is always with you and I nvr wanted to let you walk away I want everybody to see me with you , and maybe you have forgotten about what we used to share how much we have gone thru but I have not and I saw your nick your fb that time you sounded sad I wanted to ask why but I dint ,perharps you just treated me as somebody closer then friend and most probably it’s just me who’s been thinking too much all along I dont wna be seen like a pest.( Do you know why I dint call or text you daily , it's bcos I know you wil contact me first and I like it when you're looking for me , I wanted to make the first move first but Im just so shy to do it but when Im trying to build up my courage you weren't here anym. ) Now, Your no-longer by myside but I just wna tell you Your presence was the greatest thing , Your daily calls were the sweetest tone on my fone , and after xmas ,new year countdown I went down to meet you even though it's with the others but Im glad too cos you were the first guy I like that I spend those days with I nvr once spend those days with J, and when you told your friend im your girlf I felt totally sweet but I guess it's just a tease from you , after you left I tried to figure out a why to my questions I asked my friends they said you just treated me like a toy and I concluded that too but Idk why I just cant put you down let everything go ignore you cas I think I like you, and now I dont hope for anything but I just wna know " are you alright now , got everyday go school? ni kai xin mah? " , anyw im glad we were once that close and you shld have somebody you like already bah. Maybe you will feel that Im very irritating by saying all this but do you know by typing this I felt so thick skin :( and I guess you feel like scolding me now and lastly , you taught me something I wil always rmb , dont assume must ask and I like it when you were frustated when I assumed things which ain't true but it's over already , I know ._.
Anyw , maybe you will know im talking about you or maybe not or maybe you dont even read my blog anym but it doesnt matter cas I just wna write it down on my own accord , and ni yao kai xin yin wei ni kai xin jiu hao! :D
" If you still care , you will know what to do. "
Everything will be alright , maybe not today but eventually.
